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I am freaking awesome

By Mariam Fawzi

You force those legs into a kids extra small pants, evaluating your worth based on how well it fits. You put on those strangling, blood blistering high heels, saying to yourself, “No one will like me if I’m too short. Spread layers of makeup on your face because those pimples and blackheads are a curse. I mean that’s what they said on instagram, and social media never lies, right? Wrong. What they don’t tell you is that no matter what size you fit, no matter how tall you get, or no matter how clear your skin is, nothing will ever be enough. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing. Clear up your skin? Great, now fix your hair. Fixed your hair? Great, now wax those legs. Baby smooth legs? Great, now get taller. Nothing will suffice. You run around in circles playing a game you never wanted to play in the first place. Playing a game that simply doesn’t end. Like hide and seek, except you’re seeking for people who simply aren’t there. Life is too short to worry about your negative aspects, which are nonexistent by the way, instead of focusing on your strengths, and using them to change the world

If there’s anything my eating disorder taught me, it’s that your mindset can destroy. What do I mean by that? I mean that if you constantly have the mindset of “what the hell is is wrong with me?” instead of “why I am I so freaking awesome?”, you’re destroying yourself. Destroying your happiness. Destroying your strength. Destroying your ability to believe in yourself, and believe that nothing can phase you. For whoever reads this, I hope one day you can love yourself the way everyone else loves you. I hope one day you can realize that your so called “flaws” are not flaws, they’re perfections. I hope one day you can look in the mirror, stand your ground, take a deep breath, and say to yourself, “I am freaking awesome.”


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